'Mum and dad don't fight anymore'
Michael, aged 13

'My parents are always whinging to me about each other. I hate it – it makes me so upset. Why can't they see that I love them both, and don't want to be involved'
Vickie, aged 15

'Don't talk about one parent with the other parent, unless they are friends'
Tom, aged 14

'I always blamed my mum because I thought she was the one who made dad leave. It wasn't until much later that I realised they both made mistakes'
Margaret, aged 18

Parents

It may be difficult to spend time with both your parents, yet it is still possible for you to maintain a relationship with both parents if you want to.

Spend some time alone with each of your parents, or at least talk on the phone or write emails or letters.
If your parents argue in front of you try to stay out of it. You can ask them to stop arguing in front of you or walk away. One positive outcome of the separation is there could be less fighting in your home now your parents don’t live together.
It's not okay for parents to be violent. There are things that can be done to stop the violence. Go to the section on Safety to find out more.
Don't get caught in the middle. If one parent asks you things about the other parent that makes you feel uncomfortable, try saying, 'you'll have to ask them', or 'I wouldn't answer questions they asked about you'.
It's not your job to make things better for your parents. That's their responsibility. They are responsible for you, not the other way around.
Try not to take sides or judge who is right or wrong. Relationships break down for many reasons.
Try to understand your parents' emotions. They may be more settled and relaxed after the separation, or they may feel sad. These are all normal reactions and will usually improve with time.

Even when your parents are not getting along, remember it's not your job to make things better for them.